The normal well brought up small person
and the enormous polar bear
both love ice cream alot
but the polar bear’s not
inclined to be kind and share

For his dinner the polar bear feeds
on the seal and the fox
roaming free in the frisky wastes
but when nights are cold
which is often I’m told
a human or two suits his taste

If some men with sledges go past very fast
balaclavas concealing their jaws
they’re explorers with goals
on their way to the poles
but the bear cant imagine what for

He’s known to break the speed limit
when he runs after something to eat
theres no highway code
or rules of the road
when he sniffs an unusual treat

He’ll rub his big tum
chuckling “This should be fun!”
and he’ll follow them over the ice floes
he’s bigger than Pooh and much bigger than you
It still might be worth being nice though

If he stands in your way, dont argue just say
that you’re lost and you bear him no malice
then point to the sky to distract his keen eye
yelling “Wow! theres Aurora Borealis!”

Or say Hey Mr. Bear what a fine head of hair,
and what strong shapely knees you possess, sir!
If he swings out his paw, drop fast to the floor
If he asks you to leave just say Yes, sir!

And if he wants ice cream, dont argue dont fight
I’d suggest nuclear war might be safer
for the polar bear might eat it up in one bite
and yourself as well as the wafer