Slow Punctures

are the worst
not like a bog-standard burst
where you know where you sat
and now its flat
and thats that.

Oh no
with slow punctures
you stare into a bucket of water
for hours
looking for bubbles
and with each minute
the boredom increases

If  you find a hole
you know you will get oil
on your chinos.

Apply solution
wait until tacky
you wield the levers
(or if you’re poor the forks)
then you accidentally pierce your tube
like a forkin’ knife
and that means more patches
more solutions
more sea-trial evolutions
in your bucket
and then
a dislodged mudguard strikes you
in the  ear
“Is it fixed yet ?” you hear
from a room inside,
and the night
gets longer

You stare into your bucket
thinking of the obvious






















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